Inheritance

Ravi felt as uncomfortable as a fly caught in a jar of pickle – not the pickle lovingly made by his sister-in-law from mangoes just before they ripened, special canola oil from Kerala, spices from Kashmir. This was the pickle made by a rank amateur from ripe mangoes, cheap imported oil and spices of unknown origin from Singapore ladled in without any idea of correct measure.

“Poor Ravi, why did he feel so wretched?” you ask. Well, Ravi is not the kind of a guy who cries on every shoulder in sight although he brags in every ear within the range of his booming voice. He did confide in me one evening after quite a few bottles of Indian beer after dinner at the Curry House. Whether this frankness was induced by his reluctance to share in the bill I do not know but I did get stuck with it. Just to get even with him on this account I will share it with you. However, I am not a verbose kind of writer who can make a novel of War and Peace dimension from a trifling incident. I like being brief and to the point. So, I will relate to you in a few words the plight my dear friend found himself in.

Ravi was born in India with a brass spoon in his mouth, in other words in a comfortable middle class family with no pretensions to wealth. His horoscope predicted a lot of travel, brilliant success in his chosen profession and great wealth. He does not remember what else was in the horoscope – all that mumbo jumbo did not mean much to him. It is irrelevant for our purpose anyway.

First in search of a profession, then the success in it and the wealth Ravi considered his due, he traveled over four continents and finally ended up in Canada. He had some success, by no means brilliant but nothing to sneeze at either. He made some money, not the millions he felt that should be his for being born under the auspicious stars but more than enough to live in comfort, educate his three sons and send his wife Yasmin to law school. Eventually Yasmin, even though he would never admit it, was a bigger success and earned more. However, Ravi was in charge of all family finances and invested all their savings in what was touted as safe “A grade” bank certificates. All was hunky dory for a while then the disaster struck. Recession in the U.S. caused a calamitous drop in house prices which in turn led to a disastrous crisis in mortgage industry and the bank certificates were suddenly worthless. All savings of Ravi and Yasmin were down the drain of some American city, Memphis, Tampa or Santa Cruz. He didn’t know which nor did he care. What worried him was that he didn’t have any money left, nothing of his own and worse, nothing of Yasmin.

The sad story in the Curry House brought tears to my eyes. But this is not the end. Normally, people with so much worry as our dear friend stop eating and lose weight but not him. He was eating more, particularly the delectable Indian desserts; and drinking more especially when someone else was footing the bill. He began to gain weight at an alarming rate. Yasmin noticed this, she noticed every little detail when it concerned her precious husband’s health – after all she had entrusted her every penny to his safekeeping. This worried her so much that she took her eyes off from their financial affairs altogether. This stroke of fortune delighted Ravi as it provided him time to recover the losses.

One fine morning the sky was clear, sun filtering in Ravi’s office through the floor to ceiling window and birds singing gaily. He was in a good mood and joined the birds by whistling “I am a jolly good fellow” while consigning junk messages to oblivion on his email. Suddenly something exciting cropped up and he barely managed to stop his finger from pushing the delete button. A bank in London, England informed him that it was responsible for inheritances from Africa and ten million dollars was coming to him – Ravi. The necessary paper work had been done and all Ravi had to do was email Sir Robert James Fair, Vice President for Africa, his address and confirm some minor details.

Words from the horoscope rang in his ears. This may be the wealth promised to him. It is late in some respects but timely in others. He did Sir Fair’s bidding and the details traveled six thousand miles at the speed of light.

Next morning there was another message from Sir Fair. The package with the check was ready; all Sir Fair needed was a sum of 499 pounds to cover the insurance which could be telegraphed to Ms Oliphant at the address of an insurance company he had supplied. This sounded an alarm bell. Why did Sir Fair need money from him, why couldn’t he deduct it from what was due to him? Ravi was coming to his senses, albeit gradually. He decided to think the matter over for a while.

Two days went by. Ravi couldn’t make up his mind. Scams of all sorts were in the news for several years and many had come to light over last few weeks. He did not have any relatives in Africa, never had had and most likely never will have. Still risking a few pounds for ten million dollars seemed worth while only if he didn’t look such a sucker when it didn’t pan out. He was mulling this over his afternoon cup of Earl Grey when the phone rang, “Sir Fair from London. We have not received the insurance money. The package is sitting here ready to go. What is the hold up?” an African accent inquired with some annoyance.
“I am sorry Sir Fair. I just don’t happen to have the money you need. Can you please deduct it from my inheritance,” Ravi replied without his head really connecting with what the mouth was spitting out.
“We can’t do that. It will be against the law. We receive your money before the package goes out of this office. Can you telegraph today?”
“Sir Fair, it is impossible. I just don’t have the money,” the mouth still independent of the head.
Click; end of conversation.

Ravi is a man of strong convictions and he has not lost faith in the horoscope. Although it is painful, he is keeping his fat fingers crossed for the lucky break. As for Yasmin, her husband’s health is a much more important consideration than her wealth.

If you enjoyed the post, please introduce your friends to this blog. They may enjoy it too.