A Medical Check Up
It saddens me that I hardly ever get a phone call. Therefore, my spirits revived somewhat when I returned soaking wet after what I had hoped would be a pleasant walk and noticed that there were messages on the voice mail. The excitement turned out to be premature though. There was only one message, dry and to the point, “Dr. Shepherd’s office. It is to remind you of your appointment for physical check up tomorrow at 3:00 PM. Please arrive a few minutes early. Penalty for late arrival $25, for no show $75. Click.” The threat worked on this pensioner barely surviving on the meager Old Age Security and I reported to the receptionist half an hour early.

Just as the clock in the reception area ticked to 2:55, a white coated nurse called my name. I followed her to the far corner of the hall where she scaled my height and measured my weight, jotted them down on the chart and directed me to an examining room. It was a small rectangular room furnished identically to thousands in the city with one exception; the window overlooked city’s exclusive golf course where the mighty mingled. “Strip down to underwear, Doctor will be with you shortly,” I heard just as the door closed. Having learnt from the unpleasant experiences in the past, I did as I was instructed and shivered till there was a gentle knock on the door.

The appearance of young doctor in a form hugging sweater with strategically placed stethoscope warmed me all over. She looked at numbers on the chart and observed, “You have more weight to throw around but less stature to carry it. You have gained ten pounds in six months since the last exam and lost an inch in height.” I must have looked sheepish because I knew she had a point; my pants felt tight and dragged along the floor rather than rest fashionably on the shoes. She grimaced at my blood pressure reading, “You need higher dose of blood pressure pills and you must go back on cholesterol medication,” she suggested with considerable firmness.
“But the cholesterol pills cause aches and pains all over my body,” I protested.
“Well, aches and pains are par for the course at your age, high blood pressure and cholesterol are not,” she replied.
I know when to shut up and did. She then projected a beam of light in my ears and observed, “You need to put a drop of olive oil in each ear for a month. They are plugged with wax.” She now put a thin plastic glove on her left hand and said, with a little awkwardness I thought, “Now lie down on your side facing the wall and bend your knees.”
No sooner had I followed the instruction I felt a poke in my behind. The doctor considered for a long moment before pronouncing, “We have to monitor that closely. Book a check up in three month.” She scribbled the prescription, handed it to me and moved towards the door.
“Dr. Shepherd, what do you think of my condition, physical condition that is,” I asked just as she opened the door.
“I only know of your physical condition. Your accountant can tell you about your financial health. The best I can describe it is to say that I have some patients of your age who need more attention.”
The door closed gently. I dressed myself with shaking hands wondering whether to worry about the poor state of my health or be pleased that there are others lying helplessly at the base of the pyramid.