Setting Priorities
Eventually the snow disappeared from the roads and the chances of it staying for long in the event of an unseasonal snowfall were slim. It was time to replace the snow tires with summer tires. The garage down the road did that one morning for my car and I paid $220 for spin cleaning and balancing the wheels and switching tires without complaint. The mechanic said that there were too many cracks in the windshield and recommended that it should be replaced. Next day I paid $304 for a shiny new curved plate of glass. I will buy new summer tires for my wife’s car later this week and add another seven hundred dollars to my debt to the card company. I will then have spent over twelve hundred dollars, quite ungrudgingly, in the cause of the safety of the family.

This morning I had a dental check up. X-rays, cleaning by the hygienist and an examination by the dentist added up to $375. That was more than replacing the tires but it is to be expected. The dentist is a professional and has undergone many years of training. Furthermore, my teeth are the gateway to my body and soul and they deserve the most expert care available. Not to be outdone by the garage mechanic when it came to suggesting further expense, the dentist strongly recommended that a molar should be crowned, at a cost of approximately $1,100. The sum involved was less than the total bill for tires yet it came as a shock. I decided to think about it for a while.

Why did I not agree straight away and set an appointment date as I had done for the windshield? The safety of the family is of paramount importance and dangerous components in the car are not acceptable. The time window for changing tires is small. The crown, on the other hand, was not urgent and could wait for a while; after all I could still chew and the tooth did not hurt. A few months ago when my wisdom tooth was playing up, its extraction was the top priority and snow tires had to wait. It is the squeaky wheel that gets attended to first, not the silent sufferer. But is it sensible? As a volunteer driver for cancer patients I have come across cases where seemingly intelligent women noticed a lump on their breast but delayed check ups because it did not hurt. The association of pain with sickness runs deep in our psyche. A tumour can grow at its leisure in our body and the host does not pay attention till it hurts. By then it may be too late to do much about it. The cure, in any event, is painful, long and life-altering in most cases.

Do we run to the doctor every time we notice something unusual? Is every cold going to turn into pneumonia, every cut end up in bleeding to death? Well, the life of a hypochondriac is not a happy one. While it is wasteful to run to the doctor at the first sniffle, it is foolish not to pay him a visit after one has been coughing for several days. One can’t run to Emergency Clinic when a Band Aid will do the trick but it is equally silly to bandage a deep cut and hope for the best. Thanks to Medicare we can receive care without worrying about the bill. We must use medical services when needed and if there is error to be made it has to be towards visiting the physician rather than “not wasting his time.” Similarly, it makes sense to promptly attend to the suggestions of the dentist. Delay could cause the tooth to decay beyond repair. However, most of us do not have adequate dental insurance and the dentist’s bill can strain an otherwise comfortable budget. Financial demands are relentless in most families and what does not hurt often goes to the bottom of the to-do list even though we know that the consequences may be dire.

We all have to juggle priorities whatever our means. I believe I learnt how to do it when I was growing up in India. In our family of six, the person with the most urgent need was attended to first and others waited till their need could be met. What if every one’s need was equally urgent? Often the times were hard and once in a while there was not enough for every one to eat. In some families in such circumstances the males got to eat and females went without, in others father got his fill even if little was left for others. In our family my mother made sure that every one, including herself, got something and no one went totally without. By her actions, not words mind you, my mother taught us children that in a loving family every member got his/her due and we shared in bad fortune as well as in good. Our parents earned our love and we honoured their wishes because we respected them, not out of fear of punishment or deprivation. My wife and I have tried to carry on the tradition of familial love and mutual respect. We will discuss all our current cash needs in this spirit and the dentist’s recommendation will receive its due priority as did the cars.